Honestly, I've never had a bad experience with airport security.

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
05/31/2017 at 12:27 • Filed to: None

And if anyone should, it’s me. I have dark skin and a beard, I’ve traveled a lot in Muslim countries, and I speak Arabic. I don’t know how there can be a list, but I’m not on it.

Yet, I’ve never been pulled aside for extra screening, and I always breeze through security and customs.

I’ve never even had rude TSA agents. I always just smile and act polite and they’re always nice to me. I had a TSA agent pull me out of line in front of other people so I could go first in a new line that was opening.

Also, why the hell are people so slow going through security? There are exactly two things in life that I know I do better than 99.9% of people, and that is refilling a Metrocard and having all of my stuff ready before getting to the conveyor belt. I get liquids accessible while I’m waiting on line, shoes come off as soon as soon as I hand off my passport. I’ve never not had to stand and wait with my tray while the dipshits in front of me remember “oh, durr, that’s right, shoes off and liquids and laptop out. Not like this hasn’t been a thing for almost two decades.”

DISCUSSION (25)

wiffleballtony > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:30

I’ve been searched twice “randomly” at TSA checkpoints. And Im a white bread cracka

Textured Soy Protein > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:33

I’m a jolly looking white dude with a shaved head and goatee, and often travel with no laptop, just a tablet which can stay in my bag. I quickly remove any items from my person that might show up on a body scan and put them in my backpack. I’m damn efficient at getting through security. The closest thing to a “problem” I’ve had with anyone from TSA is occasionally having sweat show up on the body scan and having to get my back patted down. One time I got a crotch patdown. Must’ve been extra sweaty that day.

Airline employees, on the other hand, are very often a source of frustration.

Wagonlife740 > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:33

The best part is when you in line for 15 minutes and there are TSA employees yelling the same instructions over and over and over. Then people still walk up there with liquids and such completely surprised.

HammerheadFistpunch > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:34

I don’t fly alot, but I’ve never had an issue. I’ve been in the nude generator a few times though.

Cé hé sin > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:35

Don’t worry.

Your time will come.

Honeybunchesofgoats > wiffleballtony
05/31/2017 at 12:35

My mom gets extra screening every single time she travels, and she’s 68, super white, and have never been outside of North America

Party-vi > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:36

My name is or was previously on the no fly list. Based on my name, there must be some radical Jewish-Polish terrorist out there.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Cé hé sin
05/31/2017 at 12:37

I do remember that the customs officers in Dublin are pretty surly, but it’s worth it just to be able to land at JFK and walk right out of the door.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Textured Soy Protein
05/31/2017 at 12:37

Or they really liked you

Ash78, voting early and often > wiffleballtony
05/31/2017 at 12:38

Well, after Tim McVeigh, we can ’ t be too cautious, you know. I don ’ t want to sound racist or anything.

“Keep ‘em where I can see ‘em, Omar! Which is racist because his name’s Nick.” #birbiglia

Honeybunchesofgoats > Party-vi
05/31/2017 at 12:38

Speaking as a someone who is quarter Polish Jew, I think it’s completely justified.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:38

My Israeli rabbi gets pulled constantly because he looks and sounds Middle-Eastern (which of course he is).

I’ve never had a problem, but I’m a teenage white kids usually flying with family or a group and I never pack anything more suspicious than a laptop. Half the time I’m TSA pre-check anyway.

DutchieDC2R > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:39

Never had a problem with them either. Im a European, been to the US 4 times now and really never had a single problem. I forgot a bottle of water in my bag once (emotional time going back from the US), the bag of course got sidelined and the lady from TSA checked it out. She found the bottle, simply told me (very politely) that I could drink it right now or drop it in the bin. I drank a bit and threw away the rest of it.

Textured Soy Protein > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:44

Unless they have the secret code to make false positives show on the scanner, the crotch patdown was in response to my crotch showing as an area of interest on the body scan. Unfortunately.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:50

I once got pulled out of line for special attention at Frankfurt airport. Not because I was suspicious, mind you, but because I had a ukelele in a case and the guy wanted something with nitrate funk to show his trainee how to calibrate the bomb sniffer with.

No, really.

WilliamsSW > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 12:51

I’ve never had an issue with TSA people, either - but I’m as white as white can be, and have Global Entry/Pre-Check to boot.

But man, the slow people in line drive me abso-fucking-lutely bananas. These are the same people who buy $150 worth of groceries, get it all rung up, and the cashiers says “That’ll be $152.23 please” and only THEN does the light click on in their head that they should get their wallet out.

Honeybunchesofgoats > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
05/31/2017 at 13:05

Us ukulele players are always discriminated upon.

wiffleballtony > Ash78, voting early and often
05/31/2017 at 13:07

What are you a terrorist for Knights of Columbus, keep it movin

jvirgs drives a Subaru > Textured Soy Protein
05/31/2017 at 13:09

I had that happen once considering it was humid as hell and I had to walk back to my car to get my sunglasses (was traveling to FL) after making it to the security checkpoint. They were like do you have anything under your shirt and then showed me the scanner. I was like nope, just sweaty. They then told me they were going to pat me down and I just pulled up my shirt and was like see, nothing there.

DipodomysDeserti > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 13:11

My daughter was selected for extra screening by DHS when returning from Germany once. She was six months old...

barnie > Cé hé sin
05/31/2017 at 13:16

Amen. Before 9/11 I traveled with guns a lot in checked baggage. No ammo, just pistols in a locked case. Since 9/11, I mail ‘em to FFLs where I’m headed but I’m always pulled for extra scrutiny. No record, no CC permit, just an old, hairy white dude with a cell phone. I give any trip to the airport the whole day; no other appointments just in case. Maybe they pull me to get clean results?

This relates to when I joined the crew association down here. Lets me be insured with the dive boat. Got random drug tested 4 times in 1 year, my cap’n hadn’t been tested in 10+ years. I didn’t even drink in those days. We figgered they just wanted good results, too...

bobbe17 > Textured Soy Protein
05/31/2017 at 13:29

I had that same thing, there was a box right around my crotch region on the scanner. I really wanted to say it must be my balls of steel but figured the security line is not the place for jokes.

Steve in Manhattan > Honeybunchesofgoats
05/31/2017 at 13:59

I am the whitest of white guys, and I’ve only been pulled over once for a bag search. Where?

Narita.

Ash78, voting early and often > wiffleballtony
05/31/2017 at 14:22

You stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Honeybunchesofgoats
06/01/2017 at 07:11

on my way to the USA in ‘09 i was pulled aside in Melbourne, had to remove my boots (Blundstones)